I am a dork*

Ten events of my day:

1. Ate breakfast

2. Facebooked a little

3. Worked on my new project*

4. Went to work

5. Played a board game with my wife

6. Colored a map of Europe showing mountain ranges, rivers, and bodies of water*

7. Cooked dinner, and read about early church history while I ate dinner

8. Went for a walk with my wife

9. Continued work on my new project*

10. Wrote this blog post

*My new project is making a timeline of European history with three sections: political history, cultural history, and church history. I am fascinated by the interaction of these things, and want to understand them better. What better way to learn than to research each and make my own giant timeline?! In the last four days I have researched, made notes, and timelined the history of the Roman Empire. Love it!

Pretending

Dear blog,

I wanted to let you in on a little secret. I have a new habit. A new personal trend, if you will.

Each evening while I blog, I open iTunes and play the theme from the old Doogie Howser television show. I pretend I am Doogie sitting down at my computer, typing out incidents from my day and reflecting upon my life. I even pause every few keystrokes to stare ponderously into nowhere. Then I nod my head with a slight laugh and a smirk and continue typing, this time a bit more resolutely.

Blog, I think you ought to know something. Though I enjoy my new habit, and my wife laughed the first five or six times, I may give it up after a few days. I'm too cheap to actually purchase the Doogie Howser theme from iTunes, so I have to pause my pretending every 30 seconds to play the sample clip again. It really derails my train of thought, which means I take much longer to write my post. Which means more Doogie Howser. Which means more pauses.

You see, Blog, it is a vicious cycle.

Christ in the Classics

I had the opportunity to perform in a wonderful concert this evening. Columbus Avenue Baptist Church in Waco presented a program called Christ in the Classics. It featured a full choir and orchestra (with organ!) performing great works in the "classical" repertoire, including:

Various pieces by J.S. Bach

Selections from Handel's Messiah

"Gloria" from Vivaldi's Gloria

Mendelssohn

Gounod

Fauré

Between the musical selections, there was a narration of Jesus' life from the scriptures, along with works of art projected onto the big screens. The art included works by:

Joachim Patenier (The Baptism of Christ)

Giotto di Bodone (Christ Entering Jerusalem)

Peter Paul Reubens (Christ on the Cross)

Rembrandt van Rijn (The Ascension)

Other artists included:

Michelangelo

Flinck

Grünewald

da Vinci

This was seriously one of the best programs in which I've ever participated. It was a fantastic way for a lover of the arts to contemplate the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, and I think the less dorky folks really appreciated it too. Heather enjoyed it a great deal, and was sad she didn't sing in the choir. I wish you all could have been there!

Yay for Us!

Happy belated weekiversary, blog! I know our weekiversary was technically yesterday, and I'm very sorry for the neglect. I know from experience with women that any -iversary is a bad day to be forgetful. (Although my wife, one of the less melodramatic women I know, is not real picky about this stuff. I love her!) But I consider you to be more of a masculine blog, so I'm sure it's alright.

Anyway, I thought we'd take a short stroll through the past. Down memory lane, if you will...

We started this journey with a post called Blogs, blogs about blogs, my new blog, in which I told my tale of starting this journey with a post called Blogs, blogs about blogs, my new blog. (Oh no! Don't touch anything... this sounds like the Butterfly Effect.)

How Soon Hath Time was a sonnet by John Milton that I felt applied to me, having recently turned 24 years old.

After Heather and I had a long day with a potential new church family, I wrote Church as a more serious discussion of the importance of the fellowship of believers.

The next day I reminded us that March is National Reading Month. I shared with my audience my personal recommended reading list. I hope it prompted some consideration of literature.

Forsake Thy American Idols was my rant of the week, touching on the low points of American television, culture, and music.

I hope everyone enjoyed my cheesy jokes in Q and A. Perhaps some were able to use them to spread the cheesy joy to others.

Finally came the troubling story of my nighttime outing to Wal-Mart with the wife in Stories from the Crypt. Spooky, no?

Well there it is. And now a formal request for a bit of feedback from my five followers: Would my audience be so kind as to share a bit of insight about their journey through my mind? (Yikes!) Do you enjoy the attempts at humor? How about discussion of spirituality, music, and literature? Should I add a bit of art chat? Maybe the occasional self-written poem? (I'm working on Ode to Coffee currently.) Too many parentheticals in my writing?

Please, let's keep it constructive. Or humorous, cause that's fun too. Thanks!

Stories from the Crypt

I used to be young. Ah, it seems like only yesterday I was an ignorant adolescent, ready to take on the world like an overzealous president taking on healthcare reform (<--- lame simile and political implication).

True story: This evening, after a delightful episode of The Office, Heather and I decided we needed to visit the mothership of all markets, Wal-Mart. You SBU-ers will recall frequent excursions to the Bolivar store, often late at night when the townies occupied the corner of the parking lot across from Commerce Bank. Well, tonight's 8:30 trip with the wife went a little differently than in olden times...

"Ready to go to Wal-Mart?" I asked.

"Huh?" she replied.

"Wal-Mart. To get the groceries and stuff we need."

"Oh. [Long pause] Now?" You'll understand that "now" was my implication, because some of the needed items were for Heather's hairstyling the next morning. She acquiesced. "Well, alright."

I'll shorten the story by explaining that after watching another 10 minutes of 30 Rock, we schlepped into the bedroom so I could change shirts and she could apply a ponytail device to her hair. Knowing that our 11:00 bedtime was quickly approaching, and feeling a bit apprehensive because we never go outside after dark, we had to pump the jams on the way. That is my old-person way of saying, "We had to turn up Golddigger (the Glee version) real loud to stay awake."

Our list was nine items long. We made it in and out within 15 minutes. Total trip length: 35 minutes. Needless to say, we were exhausted.

Q and A

True story: I intended to type out a decent-sized list of jokes for your mid-week pleasure. Only wanting to include the truly funny ones, I used my wife to screen them. After reading 27 of my best, I have written out all of the ones that made her laugh...

Q: How do you make an egg roll?

A: Push it.

Q: What did the math book tell the pencil?

A: "I have a lot of problems."

Q: What does a bee sit on?

A: His bee-hind.

Q: Why did the orange go to the doctor?

A: It wasn't peeling well.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

A: Time to get a new fence.

Forsake thy American Idols

This is a rant about American Idol. If you dislike the spectacle as much as I do, read on and enjoy. If you love the show, read on and change your mind...

As much as I like music and performance, I never got hooked on watching this particular parade of wanna-be's march past a panel of "experts." Personally, I think it's humiliating for all involved. We know that the tryouts are embarrassing for the thousands of folks who try to exhibit a talent they never had. But have you ever thought about the judges? Due to the pressure of television ratings, they have to come up with creative ways to (tactfully or not) explain to the talent-less what makes them terrible. And all the while, Ryan Seacrest (does anyone actually like that guy?) serves as the opinion-less moderator, almost cheering on the contestants, and almost agreeing with the judges.

Apparently now they have singing "mentors" to help the contestants in rehearsals. This week's mentor was none other than Miley Cyrus. Cause she's an expert on good singing! That's like having Kanye West teach a poetry class (<--- lame simile).

Perhaps the people who should be most embarrassed by American Idol are well... Americans. Snarky judge Simon Cowell purportedly makes $30 million a year just for being on the show. Simon Fuller, the shows creator, and his British production outfit get a cut of all media that promote the show- CDs, TV, movies, T-shirts, etc. They also get dibs on signing contestants to their record label. And the American Idols Live Tour grosses an average of $400,000 per show ($80 million over the last five years). See for yourself.

And the singers all sound the same.

What happened to classy? What happened to enjoying performers who have worked for years to hone their skill? What happened to polite audiences? When did booing become an appropriate response to constructive criticism, or to referees at sporting events for that matter? Does America have any sort of respectful, intellectual culture these days? Looks like it's mostly about money, fame, and appearances.

Perhaps those are the American Idols.

(zing!)