I came home for lunch today while Wife was at work (we work together now). Upon observing the food in the refrigerator and cabinet, I determined my choices were:
-Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
-Leftover pasta from yesterday (which I knew would be tonight's dinner)
-Eggs and bacon
I decided to enjoy menu item #4, with a pear added for nutrition.
I cooked up the bacon, which we all know produces one of the most holy aromas on earth. (I believe it is the earthly metaphor how the throne room of God smells.) Next I cooked my eggs, added them to the bacon plate, and, with much joy in my heart and stomach, took them in to the living room. I sat down on the couch, picked up my plate, set it on my lap and... gasp... the bacon slid off onto the floor!
In an attempt to justify my next action, I should explain to you that we recently purchased a vacuum, and Wife loves to use it. I'm at least 42% sure that she has vacuumed the bit of carpet that caught my bacon within the last month. That said, and keeping in mind how incredibly delectable bacon is, you'll understand that I picked it up, examined it closely for any sign of foreign nasties (hair, dust, small rodents), and returned it to my plate.
Then I ate it.
Shhhhh.... don't tell my wife!
